A coworker recently sent me a funny parody song about SEO set to the tune of “Let it Go.” This, of course, inspired me to dress up like Elsa and dance around the office while lip syncing. Not really. But it DID make me wonder what a song might sound like if Google were to address its war on web spam through a melody. What you’re about to hear is result of my wondering. Of course I can’t take credit for the tune; that was all T-Swift. But considering she was the tenth most searched music artist of 2014 and her song “blank space” received the 5th highest number of queries for song lyrics, I think she’s a fan of search marketing…

“Blank Space” SEO Cover

Disclaimer: Yes. I am completely aware that I cannot dance…it wasn’t my idea. Additionally I am, of course, being ironic with the last statement in the video. It’s all in good fun!

SEO Lyrics

Nice to see you, where you been?
I could show you incredible things.
Traffic, rankings, conversions,
Crawled your site and I’m like
Oh my my, look at that page.
It looks like your next mistake.
Stuffed with keywords, your site’s a fake.
New domain and site map
I can read you like a txt.
Spammy backlinks don’t mean crap.
Now I know you’ve heard about me.
So hey, let’s be frank. You’re dying to see how your site ranks.
Just be patient if it tanks.
I can make the new sites prove they’re relevant.

If you wanna be on page one,
Or your sales go down in flames.
You can tell me when it’s all done,
If the launch was worth the pain.
Got a long list I’ve de-indexed.
They’ll tell you I’m insane.
But you know I love the user.
And you love the game!

If you’re dumb and you’re reckless
Optimizing just for me.
I’m gonna leave you rankless.
Slammed with a penalty.
Got a long list I’ve de-indexed.
They’ll tell you I’m insane.
But I’ve got an update coming
To crawl your domain.

Local, Image, video,
I could rank everything you’ve got.
Stolen content doesn’t show.
It’s the king, yeah, you’ve heard a lot
What’s this, canonical?
Pointing to, the original.
Good citation, that’s the rule.
Oh no!
Errors loading, missing page
Who the heck did the onsite here?
Watch a whiteboard on Friday.
To get you fixing things like
Oh my my, a redirect,
Meta tags, and poor UX.
Soon enough, I’ll re-index.
And you’ll be thinking I’m the best thing since sliced bread.

Web spammers only get what is coming.
From panda, penguin, and birds that are humming.
Web spammers only get what is coming.
From panda, penguin, and birds that are humming.

More SEO Music

If this cover song brought out the SEO nerd in you, you might also enjoy my mixtape for google. Who knows? Maybe it will inspire your own SEM mix!

Images of Taylor Swift courtesy of Jana Zills. Licensed under CC.